A rlyy rllly gud sotry
by LOOZRZ
Summary: One day, noncannon things happen, characters act OOC and Mary Sues with common western names pwn up battlefield after battlefield. NaruSaku. Onesided NaruHarem. Oneshot Songfic.


**A rly gud story**

by LOOZRZ

_**Author**__: HAY NARUTO LOL I AM MAKING A LITTLE THING AT THE TOP NO ONE CARES ABOUT_  
_**Naruto**__: rly lol._  
_**ASGJAGJ23424**__: IM A FRIEND OF THH AUTHOR OF THE FANFIC OKAY _  
_**Author**__: sry 4 the delai! i had to go stick some shit in my asshole!!111 :P_

_How could this happen to me?_

_I'm a fucking mistake_

_Got nowhere to run_

_My fanfiction sucks and I'm fucking gay_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I want to believe_

_My grammar is at least a "B"_

"Fuckn' demon! Go fuckn' die!" 

"No! Why are you like this! I never did anything to you!"

Another member of the mob stepped up and shouted, "You just fucking die you shitface  
fuck! You killed everyone! YOU!"

"I don't understand!" Uzumaki Naruto cried out, "up until now there has only been a  
mild distaste for me! No one has ever beat me or hit me, unless they were mentally  
unstable and also tried to kill other people!"

"STFU Naruto-baka, lol," Haruno Sakura said, "You hurt Sasuke-kun!"

"B-but - I'm suffering from chakra exhaustion and I'm missing half of my torso! He  
shoved a Chidori through my chest and I gently pushed his face away , which knocked  
him out! How was I supposed to know that would have happened?!"

"OMFG. NARUTO-BAKA! I ONLY LUV SASUKE AND NOT U LOL!" Sakura shrieked as she punched  
Naruto as hard as she could. All of the aesthetically unappealing villagers with the  
intelligence of apes started grunting and beating Naruto.

"FINE! IF THAT'S HOW IT IS I'LL LEAVE!"

Enter Tsunade. "But Naruto, what about your lifelong goal? A stupid bitch and some  
shitty-ass retards start beating you, and your whole personality changes?! And  
shouldn't you be dead from blood loss by now?!"

"NO! TAKE YOUR FUCKING NECKLACE BITCH!" Screamed Naruto as he hurled the necklace  
of the Shodaime Hokage at Tsunade.

As Naruto hopped the fence of Konoha, which was strangely unguarded, Sakura only  
thought one thing. "Oh my god... W-what have I done? I love Naruto-kun so much..."

"I'm such a bitch," Sakura thought as she started shaking violently,  
"Naruto-kun... come back to us in either 2, 2 1/2, 5, 7, or 10 years! I don't even  
care if you are a member of Akatsuki or some other random organization of OCs!"

"Lolwut?"

"Foreshadowing."

-----------------------------------------------

10 years later.

Naruto Uzumaki, Daiben Kirabiyaka, and Phillip were standing outside the gates of  
Konoha.

"It's been a while since I've been here..."

"Why the fuck are we here?"

"Lets go to the hokage tower. Maybe everyone will be gathered there for no reason, and I  
can show how much I've chang- HOLY FUCK IT'S RAMEN!"

With that said, Naruto ran to Ichiraku ramen, sat down and said, "Hey old man it's me!"

"Who? Ayame do you have any idea who this is?"

"Nope."

"Oh come on it's me, Naruto! You guys were like a family to me, and would always cheer  
me up when every I was raped and maimed by the villagers!!!"

Ayame, the waitress at Ichiraku, said, "Umm... you're that kid that wore orange, right?  
None of that ever happened."

Naruto's expression became dark and he said, "If you're not with me... then you're  
against me!"

Naruto ran to the hokage tower and burst in, only to find everyone in there for no reason.

"D-dobe! You're back! I'm gay, and I love you!"

"N-Naruto! I'm sorry I didn't train you as much as I did this slut here," Kakashi said,  
pointing to Sasuke, "but that was only because I l-loved you and I-I was scared! Be with  
me!"

"N-n-n-n-n-n-a-r-u---"

"Naruto-kun I'm sorry for breaking your heart! I cut myself every day! Promise me that  
you'll never leave me again! This is Sakura, by the way!"

"Naruto... ever since you beat me at the chuunin exams and showed me that fate wasn't  
everything, I've loved you. Lets-"

"NO! NARUTO-KUN YOU HAVE FLAMES AND SUCH BULLSHIT! YOUTH! I LOVE YOU!"

"Little gaki," Tsunade started, "I love you the most! You are so amazing lol. Choose me."

"RAWR!" Gaara rawred, "He's mine! I'll kill you all!"

"My name is Tenten."

"ENOUGH! MY NAME IS DAIBEN KIRABIYAKA AND I SAY STOP OR ELSE!"

Everyone's eyes grew wide. Ino stepped up.

"B-but doesn't t-that name mean Shit Gay?"

"NOPE! IT MEANS 'PAY BY PROXY GORGEOUS!' I EVEN GOOGLED THAT SOOOOO...!"

"Even so, my name is Phillip," Phillip declared.

Everyone narrowed their eyes.

"YEAH, YEAH, I know what you're all thinking. My name is Phillip. You're all wondering  
why the FUCK my name isn't Japanese. You're also wondering WHAT THE FUCK SHITTY FANFICTION  
AUTHOR would call his characters a common western name, right?"

"Now that we got that out of the way," Naruto exalted wistfully prettily,  
"Our organization is called..."

--------------------------------------------------------------

"...Akatsuki"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!"

"Hey... how come Phillip yelled, and no one else acted surprised?"

"Well Naruto-kun... you ARE wearing Akatsuki cloaks," Sakura chimed in.

"Hrmmm..."

Naruto turned to Sasuke and said, "Hey Sasuke-teme, I'd like to fight you!"

Inside his mind Sasuke was panicking, 'omgomgomg how can I hurt Naruto-kun?  
But then again I might get to touch him so I'm in :p'

"Fine, dobe, lets go to the training grounds."

Naruto took out a special kunai with seals on it. He threw it up in the air and made  
an odd hand seal. He caught the kunai and started walking away very slowly.

"Right, let's go."

As they walked through the village everyone in sight, male and female, were looking at  
Naruto with longing eyes.

Once they got to the training grounds, Naruto took off his shirt.

'omg i luv hem,' everyone thought.

Sasuke brought out his Mangekyou Sharingan. "Like this new Sharingan dobe?"

Naruto gawked. "Why the FUCK do you have the Mangekyou? You specifically decided you  
never wanted it, and that you were going to find power your own way!"

"Nope."

With that said, both rivals went so fast that no one could see them. Naruto won.

TO BE CONTINUED... oh wait, stories like this have no plot and are given up on.  
THE END


End file.
